Safire Jin and The Temple of Doom

Well I hate to carry bad news in double but i have to tell you all. 1, I will be leaving for vacation on the 15th and that will be my last post for a week or so (awwww) I know crushing. 2, the reports are true Jay Leno may be taking my blog over.
And their at the post....And were off.

Earthquake alert. Haiti had a 7.0-magnitude earthquake Tuesday evening. At first report I must say didn't care much. As the pictures have rolled in...truly unbelievable. The amount of damage i can't even describe in words. Now my normal format would be insert joke here but this is truly a major catastrophe and i wish all of them the best.

So Mark McGwire lied and took steroids. So you mean the enlarged head, massive muscle build up in a short period so late in life, and shrinking testicles were all because of those and not just some random unexplained event. And here i thought maybe we could chalk this up to Global Warming..or I mean Global Cooling...or whatever it is they want us to believe this week.

Astronomers are baffled by a mysterious object that will fly past earth Wednesday morning. They are thinking maybe its space junk or a tiny asteroid. The size is in the range of 33 to 55 feet wide at most....Ok maybe throwing or trash into deep space can cause problems. That or the aliens are as smart as me and they are launching their trash at us. Damn foreigners.

A Chicago Alderman is declaring that the hugely popular movie Avatar is portraying Marines in a bad light. He states it makes them look like "lunatics". Now i dont know if any of you know any Marines but i do, and guess what. THEY ARE FUCKING LUNATICS. Thats why the are Marines. I mean really?!?! You think i want sane Johnny Juno storming the beach killing the enemy. No I want Scotty "who beat the janitor up for eyeing him wrong in 3rd grade" Kramer killing them.

And just a way to go to Conan. Don't take the mans shit! VIVA LA REVOLUTION!

And finally, MSNBC has an interesting piece on how the rape charges against David Copperfield have been dropped. For the past two years there has been an investigation that a former Miss Washington contestant was sexually assaulted after one of his shows. Now this guy can make the Space Shuttle (THE FUCKING SPACE SHUTTLE) disappear but he can't pull off a little touchy feely on a woman. I bet he could have sex with his whole crowd and no one would even know.

Tiequila anyone?