Safire Jin 10:02

Another slow news weekend. They need to work harder at getting me good news over the weekend as to not upset my massive fan base. So as we always do on a beautiful Monday morning....Lets go TEN! I mean and now your local news.

So you think Avatar is only a great movie, well i suggest you think twice and then again and even one more time. Drudge Report has a story for all you do it yourselfers. The worlds first Sex Robot has been unveiled. Thats right Roxxxy (nice play on the name) is coming to town. With 5 different personalities I am not sure how this will make my fantasy come true as my current girl has more then that. So really not much of a draw there.

And you know since its my most favorite topic in the entire land right now... The National Environmental Satellite, Data, and Information Service (NESDIS) reported that December 14th was the coldest day in 115 years....I fucking hate the weather.

Just as a quick side note. You know how pissed I would be if I was Conan O'Brien. Push my time slot back because your "cash cow" couldn't cut it with his great comedy and sense of humor against The Biggest Loser and re-runs of Friends on Galavision.

This just in from Drudge. Global Cooling may set in for 20-30 years. OMFG!!! Global Warming. Global Cooling. How about a tall glass of Global Shut the Hell Up.

Breaking News: Illiterate Spirit Frustrates Ouija-Board Players

And the good lord looked down on Moses and spoke. "Moses I see you are looking for answers". Moses replies "Yes my lord I am". Then at the top of his lungs, with an echo through the valley of the plains and the mountain tops of the great Alps the lord said "You want answers! You can handle answers!" Moses yells back "I want the truth!" To which the Lord pauses and asks but one question..."Didn't I ask that you wear a tie when you address me!"

Even the Lord liked a good windsor.