Ladies and Gentelmen Please Fasten Your Seatbelts, We Have Lost Cabin Pressure

As i am sure all one of my fans knows the tie alone has brought me a good thing. Hope? Emotion? Feelings? Who the F knows. What I do know is it helped.

Last night i was confronted with my first, i guess you could say, test. Friends of mine cameback to the house and we were all ready for a nice round of what i like to call Allen Loses (a.k.a. Beer Pong).

Before it starts i grab my notebook and pause. Do i dare open myself for this?? Do I let the outside world into an idea they might not be ready to understand?? Or an idea that maybe I am not good enough yet to convey. Maybe I need more time to prepare. Get my confidence. Find my stride. Of course not. I feel the confidence pour out of me and just start into it. I hit them with the Super Abortion Clinic....Silence. I give them the Reagan Leading the GOP....Crickets. I step back and go to my fall back plan, So its cold outside....Iraq was bombed less then I was getting.

Flat. Disappointed. Hurt. Unconfident....I lost. I lost it all.

We started playing the game and I laughed and had fun. Great time. But in my head all i saw were their blank Hindu Cow stares. It shook me. Not as bad as it sounds I know. Not even that bad at all. I mean these are my friends and they will support me no matter what.

As i sit here alone with my tie i wonder. Is this gonna work? Do i have something here or is this more or less a play in my own head that has a final act and its a brick wall. I pick myself up and stand for a moment to take a breath.

As i stood there i couldn't help but notice I fixed my tie. It had shifted when i stood up and was crooked. But now it was ok. It was right.

Stupid as it may sound in that moment everything flashed. It is right there. I'm out of line. I am crooked. I need to fix myself and all will be right again. And it is. I am ok now. I am right. Call me crazy. Call me stupid, but right now I am in line. So read on, make a joke, don't laugh. I don't care. I have it now. I get it. All i have to do is stand up, fix my tie, and all in this world WILL be right again.

Read a book, Buy some land, brush your teeth, wear a tie.