My only friend the end

So my work day is almost done. the monster for now is at bay. Not gone. But doing what i desperately need to do tonight...Sleeping. I am not drained. I am not tired. I have not hit the wall i remember so. I picked up a good piece of advice that went a long way. Or maybe just another quote. To "use it as a tool." I have tried for two years to control it and suppress all that i feel and not say anything. Not let the darkest thought come out as for fear as what someone may say. That can not be anymore. i help it stay in the cave by not forcing it out. Purging myself of the evil or poison or whatever the hell you want to call it. The rant lives inside with this animal and i have learned to use that. Why can't this be any different. No doubt when i sleep tonight i may awake to the same breath. Same sweat. Same lost feeling. Maybe you dont have to go over the edge to know where it is though. Maybe just knowing your close is what keeps you alive. All day i have quoted the same man. Maybe you know him and maybe you don't. But in all likely hood you have heard of Hunter S Thompson. I leave you with this that i will hold through my day. "I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone,,, but they have always worked for me."


Good Night. And Good Luck.