Fear is just another word for ignorance

Even thru the day i can feel it in me. Its odd. To try to explain it makes this feeling grow. I get increasingly on edge. In a moment i care about and for nothing but in that same moment the feeling is to care and go mad over just that. I am no longer tired now that my day has gone on. It keeps me going. A cure? A solution? I am searching. My fingers go no where near as fast as i need them to be right now.I struggle holding a thought long enough to focus and put it down before the next 13 are running ramped thru my head. Why haven't i gotten it yet?!? Its all i want. I am forgotten. Lost and confused. Things are said but are they really meant. Why would you say that? And then this? It is almost in full swing and its a hard emotion to draw back once it gets going. It will make me go manic for the time being and then i will be tired again. Used and abused by an emotion i control and don't all in the same time.And then it hits you. Sadness. No rhyme. No reason. Just the mere thought of knowing. Why you ask? If i knew that i wouldn't be here i guess would i. The overwhelming idea that you can invest everything and only hope you are getting that in return. Darkness. Part of the enemy i fought all night is the one things i wish i could see now. The drug has not finished with me. Maybe it has only just begun. Maybe it isn't ready to go away. Maybe it never left. No needle in my arm but i can still feel the sting from the puncture. No drugs close by but i can feel the warmth of it run thru me like a warm drink. I fight. I keep fighting. I have to. That same smart man whispers another quote in my ear..."The Edge...there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over it." I can't say i will be back because i don't know. But heres to the hope that i am. Maybe with a different voice in my head. Or just my own.